Hitting burnout as a counselor was real. I used to talk about it as if I knew what it was. In reality, i hadn’t experienced it just yet but was well on my way to true, real, deep burnout.
It manifested in the form of snapping at people and apologizing after. Feeling like a version of myself I didn’t recognize. Sitting in the car for an extra 10 minutes before I had to walk into the building because doing the work felt impossible. Sleeping less and less. Every day felt like I was running uphill, through the mud, in a storm, gasping for air.
I am not the type of person who could do less, care less, try less. I’m just not. Everything I do, I do with my whole heart…which can be exhausting.
And that exhaustion led to burnout. In the end I’m grateful. The burnout led me to my creative outlet. I picked up my camera. I asked myself “what makes you happy.” I challenged myself to be specific about what I wanted my life to look like. And then I went for it. Because I had no other choice. That’s the beauty of hitting real burnout. The “I can’t do this work anymore” wasn’t just an empty threat I’d hurl at the universe after a bad day. It was reality.
I made a promise to myself when I left counseling to pursue photography full-time that I wouldn’t overdo it. Because I have a tendency to give more than I can and pay the price later.
I have to remind myself to keep that promise, which is why I only offer 8 spots per month…max! The chronic overdoer and overachiever in me always says…you can do more. And I battle that version of myself everyday. But I put boundaries in place because I never want to fall out of love or hit burnout from boudoir photography. I want to give you the best and truest version of myself at every single session.
My mom recently asked me if I can see myself doing this for the next 10 years and honestly, I will do this work til I’m old and gray if the universe allows me to. I am so grateful I get to do this. Each woman that comes to my studio energizes me and fills me with tremendous gratitude. When you heal, I heal. I am a better, more confident woman because of them.
So to the next 10..20 years. Cheers. I hope I get to do this for a lifetime.