A few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a scheduled surgery immediately followed. That word, endometriosis has consumed my life since then. I’m sick of saying it. Typing it. Hearing it. But I don’t get to ignore it as I have for the past 20 years. It’s so in my face that today I’m choosing to say thank you instead of hurling all the anger I’ve been holding onto.
Endometriosis gave me permission to grieve my body that was once pain-free. To name my pain and scream back it at. It gave me a community of women to find and cling onto in the form of frantic text messages and pre-surgery dates over margaritas. It gave me permission to say “I don’t feel well” without apology. It encourages me to ask for help when I need although accepting it is still hard.
It has given me permission to think about the choices I want to make with my body, what more I want to put it through.
It’s encouraged me to accept food as medicine and eat more intuitively to make myself feel good and nourished. It’s allowed me to skip the workouts without feeling bad about it.
It’s deepened my relationship with my husband. It’s given me a newfound appreciation for the way he takes care of me and for the way he loves me.
It’s taken a lot from me and some days it’s hard to focus on anything other than that. But today I would like to say thank you.