I’m sorry for making you feel like you are too big. Too soft. Too much of anything.
And this apology has been a long time coming. Because for as long as I can remember, I called you
Soccer player thighs
And I laughed to avoid feeling the pain of hating parts of my own body
Other people called you
Elephant thighs (I cried when I heard that one).
Pointed out the deep blue veins that seem to be more prominent with each year that passes
And some days it’s hard, and I still hear that voice that wants to criticize and shame. But I found another voice that is a little bit louder. She says
Your legs are so fucking strong that you can squat 200 pounds without breaking a sweat
Your legs allow you to stand up for the things you believe in
To climb mountains
To go for a jog around the neighborhood on a beautiful breezy day
To dance to a 80’s love ballet in the living room on a friday night
To hop on your peloton and turn the resistance up to a level that gets higher and higher each day
To carry yourself with power and pride
I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you.