I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you are too big. Too soft. Too much of anything. 

And this apology has been a long time coming. Because for as long as I can remember, I called you 

Tree trunks

Soccer player thighs

And I laughed to avoid feeling the pain of hating parts of my own body 

Other people called you

Elephant thighs (I cried when I heard that one).

Pointed out the deep blue veins that seem to be more prominent with each year that passes

And some days it’s hard, and I still hear that voice that wants to criticize and shame. But I found another voice that is a little bit louder. She says

Your legs are so fucking strong that you can squat 200 pounds without breaking a sweat

Your legs allow you to stand up for the things you believe in

To climb mountains

To go for a jog around the neighborhood on a beautiful breezy day

To dance to a 80’s love ballet in the living room on a friday night

To hop on your peloton and turn the resistance up to a level that gets higher and higher each day

To carry yourself with power and pride

I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you.

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